we are mirrors of each other
How We Are Mirrors:
The world is full of mirrors and reflections including our own minds. We have mirror neurons in our brains that cause us to emulate the communication, behavior, and energy we observe in others. Plus, those around us mirror us back. Knowing this, we have the choice of what we want to reflect to the world.
Beyond being mirrors of each other, our internal dialogues in our minds transmit a ripple effect through our mirroring behavior.
Our thoughts, our inner critic, and our inner cheerleader guide what we choose to communicate, act upon, and how we behave. We share this every day with others simply by “showing up”. Our presence communicates something about us, our body language communicates more, and when we speak, we want to be understood for what we are trying to communicate. The internal dialogues we have with ourselves directly impact the people we are surrounded by and interact with on a daily basis.
We spend most of our days in our own head thinking about our appearances, how we feel about ourselves, and how we feel about others, muddled within our own current situations. When we say negative things about ourselves and our lives there is a domino effect on our relationships. The people we interface with will subconsciously feel our negativity and may start mirroring and internalizing our negative behavior and thoughts as their own. This is true likewise for positive thoughts and emotions too. It becomes contagious and the more people around us feeling a certain way heightens the pressure in our brains to emulate the same behavior and feelings.
A great example of this is at an airport. Let’s imagine together. You have been waiting for a flight at the gate, perhaps headed to a beautiful beach vacation in Miami. You could not be happier! Then you look up and notice the business man standing impatiently tapping his foot and checking his watch every two seconds at the front of the gate. The plane isn’t even there yet, and there’s still 15 minutes before boarding time. Joining that man, comes a family of four, then an elderly couple joins, all noticeably very anxious, stressed, and impatient to board the flight. You start wondering, “Should I walk up there too? I have a carry on that may not fit in the overhead compartment if there’s not enough space…” The line is starting to get long. Suddenly it becomes a race to the gate with crowds of people competing for whoever appears the most angry, stressed, and aggressive. Whoever does, wins and gets to board the flight first out of sheer intimidation! You see this and start to compete. You double down your efforts and maybe even cut someone in line just so you can be first to your seat with enough overhead space for your bag. You planned this fun trip on a bargain, so your seat is that middle seat in the back next to the bathrooms. Don’t you want to maximize your time sitting there for the next four-hour flight after all? Don’t worry, you’ll be surrounded by your newest most disgruntled friends all encapsulated in a metal tube while festering in stress and negativity together. How lovely! And what a relaxing start to that beautiful vacation to Miami. Why do so many of us do this?
Our thoughts and emotions transcend beyond us. What if you walked up to the gate in the airport and made eye contact with the business man and were able to share a simple smile? Then you said hi to the family of four that came up to join, perhaps shared a funny joke to begin a friendly conversation. When the elderly couple struggled to catch up and join the group loitering at the gate, you offer an act of kindness assisting the elder woman walking. In that instance, our individual positivity could be the agent for change. In the end, the expressed kindness and compassion eases the anxiety that people feel and makes all the difference. After all, you have a seat reserved on the flight and will arrive to your beautiful beach vacation regardless of your thoughts, behavior and actions at the airport.
Our Internal Dialogue Is A Collective Dialogue…
Our internal dialogue exists within us. An average person has a ratio of 1:1 positive to negative thoughts in their brain. Some of the healthiest people with fewer illnesses and more longevity have a ratio of 3:1 positive to negative thoughts.
Beyond our internal dialogue with ourselves, we have an internal dialogue in our home with our families. How do you interact with your family? As much as we love the ones closest to us, all of us can take out stress on each other. We can have disagreements but consider what is the positive/negative ratio balance in the end?
When we go to work at the office, there’s an internal dialogue among our colleagues. Yes, there are the company core values and culture, but do the people in the organization really live by these? What are people saying to each other in the halls, behind closed doors? Do they like the leadership team? Do they trust HR? Can they rely on the accounting team for reimbursements? Do they feel they are treated fairly? What is the energy and behaviors shown within the organization? This is the real internal dialogue of the company.
Even bigger, on societal level, we have an internal dialogue on a national and even global level. This includes government, pop culture, media, and our citizens. Today if we were to look at the United States’ internal dialogue as a society, our ratio would be 1:9 positive to negative. This means that we have 9 negative things to say as a society for every 1 positive thing. These messages are broadcasted in media. As individuals, we can we shift this ratio by bringing more positivity to each other and to our society, but there certainly is work to be done. Think about how each of us has the power and capability to counter-balance the abundance of negativity being churned out into our society today.
Only Together Can We Flourish.
How has this influenced your thinking? How can you influence these internal dialogues by bringing more of your positivity and happiness to our world? Together, we can flourish through our positive mirroring.
It is natural to go about our days living in our own thoughts. However, if we can all make an intention to smile more, make eye contact, say hello, and meaningfully connect with people. We can all benefit from our shared positivity because we are all connected. Do your part and share your positivity with someone new today!
